Ever since my daughter has come into my life, there have been so many times where I am thinking about her future, how she will grow up as a person, what will her future hold? How will she live her life?
All parents go through this. This thought occupies a constant space in a parent’s mind.
Our kids are, or will be born in the tech era. So there will be very few things that won’t be available to them as knowledge. Plus this is the new age of gender equality and modern thinking. So I think even advices about education, finances, marriage (the holy trinity of parental pressure) will be quite relaxed. Our kids will have a choice of living life on their own terms.
So here are some things, however random, which I feel that I should tell my kids, gender irrespective ..
You are not defined by me or your dad:
My dear child, you are a separate individual. You are not defined by your background, your family, your God or even by your body. You are defined by your thoughts, your choices, your actions and by how much you give. It is all you baby.
It is OK to be normal:
These days there are so many avenues opened up for you, the world is your oyster. This adds on to so many opportunities to develop your potential and shine. BUT it is ok not to shine too. Being average is underrated. It’s absolutely rocking to be normal. Don’t get into the rat race, even for knowledge. Yes thirst and yearning for knowledge is a great thing. But don’t get into it just because others are. Accept your own pace of learning and give it justice.
Be financially independent and learn to handle your finances:
Having a dream and chasing it is wonderful. But sometimes your dreams don’t start paying you soon enough. So after a specific age, do it on your own buck. Figure out a way to be financially independent, figure out your day job that pays your bills. The day is definitely long enough to accommodate both your day job as well as your passion. Also learn to save, learn to handle your finances. I am always there for you on a bad day, but it would be great if you don’t let that bad day come.
Don’t look for someone to complete you:
That just makes an incomplete and co dependent relationship. You should not need anybody to complete you. First you become the complete you. Develop your strengths, know your weaknesses. Be the best version of yourself. Complete yourself and then find somebody who is a complete version of themselves, to walk beside you.
Build your tribe:
Your tribe is support, your strength. Blood family no longer has the same importance in these days. Build your own family and maintain it. It’s very easy to “move on” at the slightest inconvenience. Treasure your people. Invest in them. Be there for them in good times and bad. Your tribe should be the ones who matter the most to you, not the world.
Know your way around your house:
Yes that includes the kitchen as well. Whether you are a girl or a boy, you should be able to cook to save your life. It is a basic survival skill. Know how to change the lightbulb, know how and when bills are paid, know how to change a tire, know the ins and outs of your vehicle. Know how to make lists and do grocery shopping. Know how to freaking clean the house. Your house is your space and you should know how to run it.
Learn to defend yourself:
Learn how to take care of yourself physically as well as emotionally. Be physically fit enough to defend yourself if the need arises. Be emotionally fit to take care of yourself during a low in your life, to be able to walk away from what damages you in the mind. Learn to stand up for yourself at any point.
Embrace your wildness
Don’t be a clone. Don’t do things to your body just because everybody else is doing it under the garb of “my choice”. Know your wild side, the side that makes your eyes come alive, with the burning madness that makes your face look so beautiful even without any make up. Keep that wildness alive in you, at whatever stage in your life.
Have a sense of humour:
Don’t take life too seriously. Even yourself. Have a sense of humour, it is the only thing that helps you sail through the difficult times. These days people get offended by even the smallest things. Learn to laugh at yourself. Have a strong sense of humour.
Dreams change and that’s ok:
You are going to have big dreams in your eyes when as a grown individual, you step foot in this world. But don’t hold on to your dreams so tight that you can’t let go. Or that you feel a void after a dream is achieved. Dreams change, and they grow. That’s perfectly fine. Even at the age of 60 if you feel like changing the dream, it is perfectly fine. Don’t put all your happiness in a dream. Enjoy, embrace and learn on the way. That is the real life.
And in the end, my child, respect life. Respect everyone in your life. Know what makes you happy and work towards it. This life is a beautiful journey and a gift. Treat it as such.