Anger is comfort, an escape. Anger is the first emotion our mind latches on to when we are not able to understand something. Why is it that anger acquires such a place of pride in our lives? Why do we get angry so quickly?
Lets face it, anger is unavoidable. We as a human race, love control. We are striving to gain control over so many things, land, power, money, our loved ones, our thoughts, our desires, our life. We are so used to control that the minute we encounter something that we can’t, we get angry. Understanding the “why’s” and the “how’s” have taken a seat very much down the priority ladder.
Instead of letting anger take control of our life, how about we devise a plan to take control of it instead. Here are a few steps that one can work on to not let anger take over every aspect of our life.
When you are angry, you often tend to say something which will come out ten times more brutal than you intended it. The first step to avoid that happening is to walk away from the situation. Walk away, calm down and then say what you wanted to say. That way the message will come out the way it was intended to, rather than just angry words.
Once you are calm, express your feelings
Keeping things inside you will just lead to suppressing your emotions. This will lead to things piling up unnecessarily inside you and at the smallest instigating moment it will lead to erupting all over the place and you will no longer be in control of your actions. Or it will be harmful to your own self. Suppression is not healthy either way. So once you are calm, talk about what made you upset in the first place and try to find out civil solutions to your problem.
Get some exercise
Physical activity helps release endorphins. You will feel instantly better and feel some amount of control over your situation. So whenever you feel that surge of anger, do some physical activity.
Most of the times, anger is a cover up for other feelings like humiliation, frustration, inadequacy, loss of control, helplessness, insecurity, hurt, or vulnerability. So try to figure out what exactly is the root cause of your outburst. Try to focus your energies internally rather than the outside world.
Sometimes our anger is because of situations which are out of our control. There is no immediate solution available to deal with the issues that are causing the anger. At that time it is helpful to focus your energies on doing something creative. Writing, painting, sculpting, designing. It is a great outlet for your angst to get out of your system.
If you are facing recurring bursts of anger, a good way to deal with them is to meditate. Finding your inner center helps you prioritize the issues and helps you gain a much better control over at least your emotions, if not the problems.
Take professional help
The last option is to seek professional help. Anger sometimes breaks across your daily life and can hamper your career path as well as your relationships. There is absolutely no shame in taking some professional help to deal with your anger issues.
We have to evolve over our instinct to get angry. Anger gets us nowhere. Anger breaks and anger hurts. Though we can’t see it, it hurts the person most who gets angry. Keep it at an equal level with all the other 8 emotions that make us human. Even if it is just one instigating moment a day, one moment at a time. UNDERSTAND ,EMPATHISE and then UNDERSTAND some more.