Someone whom I greatly admire (quite an understatement) has once said, “Dear women, don’t give up your day job for a night husband“. Not to take it in a crass and extreme way, but this statement makes so much sense. Once a woman becomes a mother, her entire life changes. Her every waking moment and even the dream filled ones are completely filled with only and only the thoughts of her young one. The first 2 years of a child’s life, he/she needs parents the most. Inadvertently it’s the mother who makes up for both the parents, as one parent has to go out and earn the bread and butter. And rightly so for both.
Her entire life becomes her child. Then the child grows up a little and the dependency on the parents starts reducing. Then with all the time left over, the woman starts expanding her love and attention to the needs of the other family members. Quite forgetting herself in the whole deal. After a couple of years, all are set in their own routine and comfort zones.
The Most Important Step
It is just before this point, that I urge the women, to have a dream. A dream which is outside of the house. Her own personal dream. What she wants to become, what she wants to do in her life. At the end of it, it’s her life. Parents, kids, husband, in-laws are the fellow travelers. But the journey is hers.
Take The Risk Of Nurturing A Dream Outside The Home
Have a dream. A goal, an ambition. It may not necessarily be just career oriented.
But a world outside the 4 walls. Work towards it. Dream about it, hold it, caress it, and feed it. It can be any simple thing or the most difficult and impossible one. But own it.
Recognize your own self in the entire family circus. The home is yours, you have built it, you are responsible towards it, and no doubt that space is always going to be yours. Nobody is going to take that away from you. You are already ruling it. But that’s not the start and the end of your world. There is a huge, beautiful world out there too. Take the risk of dreaming to make your own place in it. In however miniscule way.
That makes life much more beautiful than it already is.
Treasure your ambitions. Get the people around you to treasure them too.
Money is not everything. But the thrill of earning your own buck is simply out of this world. Maybe you don’t want to go back to the corporate shackles. And that’s ok. But find some beautiful mid way, to join your dream with the finances, however meager may they be.
Taking Care Of The Emotional Dependency
So many women go through depression, when they start feeling a little unwanted as their child’s dependency on them starts reducing. Don’t let your emotional state come to that point. Understand that maybe the kids are your world, but for the kids, at some point very soon, you are not going to be enough. Accept it, and create your own demand in this world outside your house.
It’s not easy, but not too difficult either. Start with a small achievable dream, and grow from there.
For All The Supportive Partners
And for all the men who work outside the house, have a dream for yourself that does not include any career driven goals. Nothing wrong in having a career aim, but have a dream inside the home too as a family. And work towards it. What do you want your family to become, how do you want your family to grow, and not just in terms of monetary status. But as your world. Your aims for, and as a family. Share the vision of your wife about what she aims for the family. Find your world inside the house, in your wife and kids. It’s a beautiful world in there too, to base your dream on.
Have different dreams, but dream together. Grow together. Achieve together.