In a heart touching essay, the author talks about her grandmother and the grief of losing a near and dear one. Here is what she says while describing the pain of death –
It has been 2 years since my grandmother passed away and it feels like just yesterday she breathed her last in front of my eyes. It was the most painful moment of my life to lose my grandmother, who was more of a GODMOTHER (my god + my mother). She was a beautiful, strong, blunt, witty woman and there is not a day since she has left us that I don’t think about her.
I often wonder where she is? If she is happy wherever she is? She slogged her entire life trying to keep so many people happy. I wonder if God is paying her handsomely for toiling her life on earth. I wonder if she looks down at me often and cribs if I do something wrong. If she smiles every time I succeed in something. If she thinks about me, just like I do. If she is with me whenever I’m lonely.
I dream about her almost every day. And she just looks at me calmly and smiles. Smiles as if I’m her precious prized possession. Every time I get up with a thumping heart wishing desperately that she would speak something at least in my dream. I immediately check her pictures on my phone and regret that I don’t have any videos of her…to listen to her voice.
Every day I crave to listen to her voice. The last few conversations that we had are fresh in my heart. Her voice is clear in my inward mind. But when I desperately wish to listen to it out aloud; I have nothing apart from her pictures where she is smiling at the camera peacefully.
We are so busy in our lives, rushing to office, following our passion, meeting friends and colleagues that we need to press the pause button today briefly for some time and capture a video with that loved one before it Is too late! Remember – once they leave the world, even the voice slowly fades away from your mind and you’re left with a giant void in your heart.
Wishing…..you had captured some video with your loved one to cherish their voice later.