Everything has become a competition today. Nay. Everything has become a war today. Everybody just loves to harp on the fact that, my way is the best way. And let’s face it people, because of the onslaught of information, we have figured out that there can be literally thousands of different ways to do a single thing. Literally thousands. And yet we feel the need to yell it out to the world about how my way is the best. Motherhood has joined in on the barrage of wars and there are mommy wars out there on the internet where things get really nasty. I mean really nasty.
The thing about “respecting other’s opinions” has taken a back seat unfortunately. The latest topic on the debate block was the “controversial” statement made by Mira Rajput about working mothers. Let’s see what are the debates that mothers get into, or are subjected to, during this beautiful phase of motherhood.
Stay at home moms vs. working moms.
This is the hot topic which has survived generations of debate, without any reconciliation. The truth is both sets are looked down upon by the other. Mommy guilt, which is such an integral part of motherhood, is used brilliantly to advocate either stance. The latest Mira Rajput debate just fueled in more of aggressive/defensive women coming out and belittling the others with regards to their life choices.
Breast Feeding vs. Formula Feeding
Oh this one is a gold mine. “Breast is best” vs. “Fed is best”. Mothers come up in arms about defending their choice of either. Yes breast feeding is the most natural way to go. But sometimes it is beyond the physical capacity of the mother to breast feed. Some women also take a conscious decision to wean from the breast at 6 months. Some women continue to feed till well into the toddler years. The bottom line is that there should be no judgment. But ironically, it’s the mothers themselves who turn on each other and put each other down for their choice.
Force feeding vs. Baby led weaning
I have heard almost 99 per cent mothers complain about their child not eating. Feeding solids is a big headache for almost everyone. And here too there are two ways to go about it. Let the child feed by itself, however much he/she wants or use some distraction techniques to get the food down the gullet. At the end of it, the child should be fed, by whatever means suits the parent and child.
Being stern disciplinarians vs. gentle parenting
Whacking is a taboo word in the mommy communities. While some mommies swear by it. Some feel that a little smack on the bum never did anybody any lasting damage. And there are huge debates, nay fights about this in the mommy world. Can we shout on our kids or no? And then this argument about “gentle parenting” many a times drifts into a non gentle verbal exchange.
The topics are unending. Scheduled Csec vs home births, co sleeping vs. sleeping in a different bed, pacifiers yay or nay, cry it out method vs. attachment parenting, the list is endless. Basically there are thousands of different ways to parent. Every method depends on individual child and parent. And mommies, every parent wants just the best for his/her child.
So let’s all take a deep breath and calm the F*** down. Because parenthood is hard enough. Let’s not jump on each other and make it even harder. Let’s support each other and build a beautiful new generation.