Getting married and moving to a completely new environment inhabited by almost complete strangers. The sheer thought gives you a jitter. How will you keep up with everybody’s expectations, especially your mother-in-law? How you will learn their customs? And many other such scary questions make the new bride nervous. Based on their experiences everybody gives you advices regarding the dos and don’ts in your new home.
The most complicated and delicate relation the bride has is with her mother-in-law with whom she is expected to be friendly and loving like with her mom. Thanks to Indian Cinema every bride has a vague picture of her mother-in-law (MIL) in mind. Most of us expect a bossy, fussy and my son is mine type MIL. Scenario has changed; most of us have an open-minded and friendly MIL. With time they also have evolved and have come to spite that if you remove in-laws from the relations, everyone can live in peace and harmony.
Still there are certain things which never change. Here is a list, for all the new and would-be brides, stating what not to tell to your otherwise sweet MIL.
Mother-in-law, this is how it is done at my place
She has looked after this home for years and she doesn’t want anyone to change how things move around. The way festivals are celebrated, customs and rituals are carried out will be different from your home and unlearn old and learn the new. No we are not saying blindly follow them; if you don’t like any custom or ritual be subtle in keeping your point. You can even ask your husband to explain the importance or share your viewpoint.
I know how to take care of my son
Being a mother is the best feeling in the world. You want to do everything for the baby. You want to give everything best to him/her. Don’t forget the baby is her grandchild too and she will always wish good for him/her. She also wants to relive her son’s childhood through the kid. It doesn’t matter if you make him wear dress bought by her on his first birthday or festival.
This is not how my husband likes it
Your husband is her son too. She took care of his needs and met her demands since childhood. She can’t let him go all of a sudden. Taste of people keeps on changing. If she has made his favorite dish or have bought his favorite color outfit, don’t bluntly tell her that he won’t like it. You can update her with the changes but with love and affection.
Give a call before visiting us
Working couples are a norm these days. Gone are the days when girl used to only look after their household work. They now manage both home and work beautifully. Sudden arrival of guests and that of your MIL can be stressful. Telling her directly that she should have informed well before coming could be offensive. Tell your husband to politely talk to her and ask her to give a call before her visit. This way you can be better prepared for the visit.
My mom is a better cook
This can be one heart-breaking statement. All the mothers love cooking and if there is any food which can tinkle your taste-buds is food prepared by your mother. If you start comparing the food prepared by your mother and MIL, you are heading for a trouble. You can always improvise the dish and tada she will automatically ask you the secret recipe.
Avoid these statements and be friends with your MIL. Rest assured she will take care of you like her own child.