First Year of Marriage!!
A young girl, turned into a bride and on the same day she becomes a woman. Same story applies to the groom, he turns into man after marriage. This boy and girl think they are all set for a perfectly portrait life. But post honeymoon, begins the real story which is an eye opener.
Marriage, may it be love or arranged, have similar sort of challenges but in different ways. The bride and the groom expect that new marriage will have all lovey-dovey colors, lots of sex, happiness, care, bla-bla-bla (all things shown in Karan Johar and YashRaj Films). But here is a bummer, nothing of it happens in real, so guys and girls sit back and read this list of what to expect and not to expect from first year of marriage.
Long Honeymoon for a Year
Day your honeymoon ends real life begins. If you are together with love-marriage then a very big bump is ahead, where you have to take care of the house, expenses, grocery shopping and many small but important things to run a home. Just like love-marriage, arranged marriages too have bummers like in-laws, setting yourself into pre-decided rules of house, getting to know spouse’s family, attending official family meetings, etc. This seems to be very irritating and ultimately irritation rolls on each other and you tend to get depressed by thinking ‘this is not what I expected’.
Understand your surroundings, it is difficult to adjust at first but give it a try, it is not impossible, if anything bothers you speak it up in very calm way. This will enable you to understand your partner better and trust will start developing between you two.
His and Her Habits
You guys must know each other from pretty long time or may be brief time, but frankly spending 2 hrs and spending 24 hrs is totally different. In 2 hrs meet, you show your best side to each other, while spending 24 hrs you just come in your own skin and can’t fake it. You tend to become and behave natural. Boys might have all irritating habits which girls generally don’t tolerate, and girls might have compulsion habits which boys can’t take and ultimately this will lead to misunderstanding or confusion about decision you made to marry each other.
Neither you nor him can be changed because you have individual personality from past say 25 years, how can in one day you expect to change? But yes, habitual changes are needed so that you both don’t annoy each other,. To achieve this you need to give time, counsel each other, politely voice the issues you have. Slowly you can adapt with each other, rather than making issue and creating a LOC. Keep calm!
Sex and Marriage
Sex is defined differently by women and men, women expect slow steady pleasured romantic sex and men obviously expect something like they see in porn. But frankly both of them are not expecting reality, they are expecting which social and entertainment media has put in their mind. So, stop freaking and thinking in mid-night that ‘This is it’, ‘Ohh! No I am at wrong place’, ‘It should not be like this’.
Understand each other; give space and freedom of expression. Women come out and speak up about what you want, how you want. Men please be realistic, do not become some fancy character from virtual game zones. Surprise each other, indulge in soul to make it happen and pleasurable.
Big Gamer at Home
Girls you must have seen that your boyfriend has turned into super gamer after your marriage, right? Once he is back from office or when he is with you in mall or spending coffee time with you, he is always into candy crush, asphalt, etc. Of course this must be pissing you off and this must be first reason to start fight with him. Same is with boys; you must be irritated with girls never ending list of to-do, list of things to buy and other never ending lists.
This all happens because of you guys are new in each other lives (at least 24X7 life). You both need space; girls make sure he gets his me time, apart from you, family and everyone. Don’t get irritated with this, just give him space and make sure you can plan trips for him with his friends, just boy’s day out! Same boys can do for girls, let them go shopping with their friends and with this you will be also happy and she will be surely happy to shop with her girlfriends.
Don’t panic, first year of marriage is named as bonding year, get through this. If you survive you will be into beautiful relationship and if you don’t you have one more year to go. But, whenever you feel like quitting just think about why you both are together and love which you have or had. Keep growing in love from first year of marriage.