For the past 15 years or so, I have been living a low self esteem life. Thanks to the perfect body perceptions put in my head while growing up. Yes, I am one of those who isn’t been blessed with the perfect body. I have always been a super thin girl and gone through so many tribulations, thanks to my not so good body. I took the shelter of padded bras to make me feel better and confident.
While growing up, I was called out so many names that it started corroding my confidence one cell at a time inside my body.
I was eve teased by some goons saying “She looks flat like an iron board”.
One of my acquaintances once said, “When you walk it seems as if a hanger is walking with clothes on it”.
Some said, “Even a breast implant won’t help you”.
No one wanted to see me as a living human being but as if I am just a body.
It made me cringe in self pity and wonder what wrong have I done to be boob less. And then I found solace in the ‘padded bras’! Padded bras became my confidence pill. They made me feel loved once again. Slowly it was the padded bras which became a life saving essential in my wardrobe. I wore them, looked myself in the mirror and felt good about myself. FINALLY!
But deep inside I knew it was a farce. It was not the real me and I was misguiding the world. I tried to get rid of the padded bras. But when I stood in front of the mirror without them, I felt a pang in my chest. The low self esteem stabbed at me brutally and I gave in to the black magic of the padded bras.
For 15 plus years, I was a victim of a false body image I was trying to impress the world! A person who was not really me. A confidence which did not stem from my capabilities. A sham which seemed to be my truth.
BUT NOT ANYMORE!
I started ‘May Cause Miracles’ course outlined in the book by Gabrielle Bernstein and my life changed! It is a 40 day guidebook which offers compelling message that anything is indeed possible with a few simple shifts in our life. The book guides you with a morning and evening exercise each day for 40 days. And each week is dedicated to one important aspect of our life – body, relationships, finance etc.
The Week 2 in the course was about our body and false body perceptions. And this changed my life! Simple affirmations like ‘My false perceptions of my body are an attack. Today I choose love instead of my ego’s perceptions’ made a difference in the way I looked at my body!
The course didn’t just help me get rid of my body image issues. But it also busted my pride around my lanky legs. I came to believe that it is not my body which defines me. I should neither be ashamed nor be boastful about my body. My body has a higher purpose than being just curvy, pretty, thin, desirable or voluptuous.
It has taken me 15 plus years to get rid of the dismay and malign I had stored up all this while because of those derisive and offensive comments. It took me 15 plus years to finally gain the confidence by being just ‘me’. 15 plus years and now I make peace with my body and let go the need of falsely accentuated boobs. It took 15 plus years for me to get rid of my padded bras. 15 plus years!
I could have done this earlier, if I hadn’t been pressurized by the society to look and feel a certain way. I would have done this earlier, if someone had made me realize the false gratification I was seeking from my padded bras. If only someone had told me.