Pablo Cruel Jokes

With Netflix’s Narcos Series, Pablo Escobar’s life came into highlight again. The series depicted various shades of Escobar which made the audience ask for more. But did you know that Pablo Escobar’s only son Juan Pablo Escobar has mentioned some riveting and shocking memories of his father in the book “Pablo Escobar My Father”? Some of these tales mark the history of Colombia and bring a different light to Escobar’s life.

Here are the top 6 tales mentioned by Juan in ‘Pablo Escobar My Father’ – 

6. Mastery in Fake High School Diplomas
Pablo Escobar Cousin
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Pablo Escobar stepped into the world of crime by making fake diplomas along with his cousin Gustavo Gaviria. They even copied their teachers’ handwriting to make fake final grade reports. After their stint in falsified academic documentation, they moved on to bigger crimes like selling stolen tombstones, stealing cars and robbing theatre ticket windows.

5. Insanely Cruel Jokes
Pablo Jokes
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Pablo was known to play insanely cruel jokes with his gang mates. While he and his men were at the luxurious La Catedral Prison, they entertained themselves by planning cruel jokes around. In one of such jokes, Escobar asked one of his men alias ‘El Gordo” to bring him a cup of coffee. He then popped an Alka-Seltzer in his mouth so that it started to foam. Escobar accused “El Gordo” of poisoning him and ruthlessly ordered his men to tie “El Gordo” up and pointed a machine gun at him for ten minutes while he begged for his life. Such was his definition of ‘fun’!

4. Ingenuous Techniques for Exporting Cocaine
Cocaine Export
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Pablo Escobar deployed a variety of ways to export cocaine to the US. However one of his most sort out way was to soak jeans in liquid cocaine and thereby legally exporting them to the United States. The buyers upon receipt of the shipment would wash the jeans with special liquid and extract the cocaine. Later when this method was caught by the DEA, Escobar simply started soaking the shipment boxes in cocaine. While the DEA washed the jeans over and over again with no traces of cocaine, Pablo’s associates collected the boxes from trash and the job was done!

3. Cartel War Sparked by a Broken Heart
Cartel Wars
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A number of theories have been floating regarding what exactly started the bloody war between Pablo Escobar’s Medellin Cartel and the Cali Cartel. According to Juan Pablo, it was the broken heart of Pablo’s friend friend Jorge “El Negro” Pabon. Pabon returned from US prison to find out that his girlfriend had cheated on him with a man from the Cali Cartel gang. Pablo Escobar agreed to call Gilberto Rodriguez Orejuela, one of the Cali Cartel leaders to request him to give up the man. But Rodriguez Orejuela refused. Escobar allegedly ended the conversation by saying “whoever is not with me is against me”. A few months later the Cali Cartel set off a car bomb in the building where Pablo Escobar’s wife and children were sleeping. And the war started.

2. A 13 Year Old Faithful Bride
Pablo Escobar
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Pablo Escobar started dating Victoria Eugenia Henao Vallejo, when she was 13 and he was 24. When Henao’s family tried their level best to separate the couple, Escobar eloped with Henao. Even after Escobar being notoriously unfaithful, Henao stayed with him until his death. Her calls with Pablo were used by rival Cali Cartel to teach their wives how to support their men.

1. Pablo Escobar Killed Himself
Pablo Death
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Though Narcos series showed his death as a US victory, Juan has a different story to tell. According to him, the autopsy report mentions three bullet wounds: one in Pablo Escobar’s left leg, one in his shoulder, and one that entered on the right side of his head. Juan Pablo Escobar is certain his father delivered the fatal head shot, because Pablo Escobar always told his son that if he is surrounded by his enemies with no way out then he would shoot himself in the right ear to avoid being captured alive. This is also seen in the famous photo of Pablo Escobar’s body on the roof. The drug lord’s gun – Sig Sauer is lying next to Escobar. It is the same gun, Pablo always told his son he’d use to kill himself if the need arose.

Fascinating, right? A drug dealer’s life which is so full of stories. However in the end, he did pay for his sins indeed. What do you think about Pablo’s life?

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She is a dynamic HR, an avid reader, an amateur poet and a natural writer. She is an ardent believer in God and tries to dig up happiness even in the darkest of mines. Join her as she takes you on a joyride called ‘life’.

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