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When we fall in love, we give away all that we have selflessly. It is how we were taught to love. But sometimes it is necessary that we should be selfish about certain things in our relationship. Being a giver always doesn’t serve the purpose and certain things need to be kept to ourselves. You might say being selfish in a relationship sounds incorrect, but trust us and do a reality check with what we are saying next.

Be SELFISH about –

#1 Your Independence

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Don’t let any relationship make you dependent. Keep your independence intact. Let that be financially or emotionally. It is great to have someone to love and who takes care of us. But don’t let that comfort blind you in letting go of your freedom and independence. The love hormones settle down and when that happens, you need your independence to strive ahead!

#2 Your Identity

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Yes, every relationship needs compromise and adjustment. But not at the rate of losing your identity. It is great to cook his or her favorite food but not forgetting what you love to eat. If he loves long hair but you feel short hair is your identity, don’t let that go. You are fabulous the way you are! So, open up to new ideas and new experiences with your partner, but only adopt and integrate those that really resonate with you. Don’t be someone else because your partner wants you to be that way!

#3 Your Me Time

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You need it! 24/7 being with your partner isn’t going to help you if you have been a free independent woman. You need that time with your besties. You also need to take a break and read that book. A hot bath with candles all alone is also what you should be doing. And while you do that ensure that you respect his me time too.

#4 Your Right to be Heard

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The safe cocoon of a relationship which makes you comfortable speaking your mind. The right to bring ideas to the table. Your right to have a word in all the decisions, even financial. When you will feel that what you say is heard and honored, you will blossom more in the relationship. So never let go of this power.

#5 Your Dreams 

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Your dreams and ambitions is what makes you the person you are today. It is your dreams that is giving you the motivation to wake up each morning. It is a fuel for your life. Be selfish about your dreams. Don’t let someone use your fuel to complete their dreams and crush you while doing so. Take every step to make your dreams come true.

When you will become selfish with the above things, you will notice that you will be able to give more to the relationship. You will not feel a victim who keeps on giving. There will be a sense of freedom in the relationship which will help both the partners!

So what are you going to be selfish about in your relationship?

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She is a dynamic HR, an avid reader, an amateur poet and a natural writer. She is an ardent believer in God and tries to dig up happiness even in the darkest of mines. Join her as she takes you on a joyride called ‘life’.

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